"You Have to Find Out for Yourself"

There were a number of requests for a copy of this Dharma talk so I'm publishing it here. We had the good fortune to have Josepha Vermote transcribe it so quickly to make it available. Thank you.

November 4, 2009, Olympia Zen Center

Dharma Talk by Eido Frances Carney

Guishan’s “You Have to Find Out for Yourself”

When I first came to practice, I had a koan and a question. These are two very different things to me. The koan that I had was the same koan that Dogen Zenji had. I knew nothing about Dogen Zenji, but I had the koan that Dogen Zenji had, which was, if we are already enlightened, why do we have to practice zazen ?

I was just a beginning practitioner but I already had that question from the very beginning. I think many people must feel the same way. I had already made the decision to get up every morning and drive to the zendo, it was about 12 miles, and I drove every morning, and I sat in that cold darkness. It wasn't as cold as here, it was in California, mind you, but it was dark and my bones ached and my knees and ankles were on fire, and my head drooped and all those things that we feel when we first begin to sit zazen. Why do we have to do this?

And I just dreaded getting onto that cushion because the bell would ring, and then it sometimes seemed like the abyss of zazen that would go on forever. And when would that bloody bell ring? You know you just have that feeling when you are in that miserable situation. My koan was also “why am I doing this?” along with “why are we doing this if we are already enlightened?” And I fully believed we were already enlightened. I had enough experience to know that we're enlightened. And there is no easy answer to that koan except to sit through the practice to understand why Dogen Zenji continued to sit zazen. And I guess I am still here too. So this is forty years later.

So I had that koan, that was very difficult, and a painful one to go through, but nevertheless a very incredible koan to have.

But my question was a little bit different. My question was, “So what can I rely on?” What can I count on? Okay, I have this practice where I'm doing it anyway even though I don't know why, because we're already enlightened. So then in the middle of that, “What can I count on?” What can I rely on? It was the very first question I asked my first teacher when I began practice. It's very deep a matter, a serious question and even though it may not be a burgeoning spiritual question for you, I certainly know you've all had that question in your mind at one time or another. When the chips are down and there is nothing else there, and when you don't have anybody else to call on, when you just don't know anything else, what can you count on? You feel maybe a little friendless, you feel everything is falling apart. What can you count on?

Although I have certainly answered that for myself, I haven't answered it forever. That is to say, that question returns because we don't come to some strong realization in practice and never have it occur again. We may realize something one day, and then a year, five, ten, how many years later, it comes back and we review it again and we discover a new depth. So we explore it again and again. Even if we have an awakening experience, we give that away, and we continue to practice zen, we come to something deeper again. There is no end to the depth. Like driving in the mountains. If you enter the mountain range, you see the mountains and you enter the first mountain and you think, oh that's it, and then you see another mountain range, and they go on and on. You come around that curve and there is another mountain! On and on like that. Of course it depends on which mountain range whether you get past that mountain range pretty quickly or not.

There are numerous koans that speak about this, “What can I rely on?” One of them I'm sure many of you have read before.

Ruiyan, practiced at his temple, Ruiyanji, and he climbed up the hill and he sat on a rock and he called: “Master!” He himself answered “What?”

He then called, “Stay alert!”

“Yes!”

“And in the future, don't be deceived by anyone!”

“Yes! Yes !”

So, Ruiyan would do that everyday, talking to himself. He would go up on the mountain, sit on the rock, and call, “Master!”

“What?”

You yourself can do that every morning. You can wake up and you can say,

“Joan !” or “Mary!” or whatever your name is.

Then you can answer, “What?”

“Don't be deceived by anyone. Stay alert !”

“Yes!”

You can do that to remind yourself.

Remind yourself! That's the very first answer that I got from my teacher when I asked that question at a morning practice. We ask the question in Sanzen, we go down and kneel in front of the teacher and give the question. I asked, “What can I rely on?” Of course the answer was, “Well, nothing.” There's nothing, nothing. Just like that, “Nothing.”

That is very hard to hear, when perhaps, as in my own case, I came out of a very, very different spiritual context from Zen Buddhism, in which I had an old man in the sky in Christianity whom I could call on and I could say: “God!” and then no voice would come. But still you continue: “Help me, help me, I think I'm fading.” Nothing comes, no answer comes but you think some kind of answer is coming, and you feel better because you called up into the sky, you called upon this God that you have faith in. I'm not making fun of this by the way, I'm addressing it very seriously. There is great solace in that calling upon God and feeling that somebody is with you. Feeling that you're answered in some way, by that calling.

My very first teacher used to address this matter. Now in the U.S., even though we have a very strong fundamentalist country, I think that the people who came to practice in those days, forty years ago, were somehow closer to their religious practice than folks today. I could be very wrong about that, that's how it seemed. People came to practice with a very deep question about God and about this calling upon somebody and its presence.

Kobun Roshi used to pose questions. He would say: “When you are playing the piano, and no one is there, who are you playing for? When you are praying, when you are calling into the sky, who are you calling?”

This master Ruiyan knew that answer. He knew who he was calling on. He knew where that question of God is. “Master! Master! He immediately answered: “What?”

Not very long ago, at Panorama City, we were having a discussion about this, about who do you rely on, is there some comfort, and what happens and where do you go? Where do you go for solace? I admitted in front of all of them that there are many days when I do wish I had an old man in the sky that I could call on. That I could see there is just somebody there to say, “Hey, could you listen for a minute?” And it isn't that that old man in the sky is not there either. Because who are we calling on when we are saying, “Is somebody there, hello? Master, is there somebody there?”

Well you know, the koans all, don't give you an old man in the sky answer!

I'll read another koan from the THE TRUE DHARMA EYE, ZEN MASTER DOGEN'S THREE HUNDRED KOANS (Translated by Kazuaki Tanahashi and John Daido Loori. Shambhala, 2005). Dogen Zenji, who is the founder of our stream of Soto Zen, culled these three hundred koans from the Chinese that influenced his teachings, and some of them appear in his SHOBOGENZO, and other teachings. This particular one is Guishan's “You have to find out for yourself!”

MAIN CASE

Guishan was once asked by commander Lu in the monastics' hall, “Among these advanced monastics, who are meal servers and who are meditators ?”

Guishan said: “There are no meal servers and no meditators.”

Lu said: “Then what are they doing here?”

Guisha said: “Officer you will have to find out for yourself!”

COMMENTARY

Commander Lu was a frequent visitor to mount Gui and often engaged in dialogs with Guishan and his successor Yangshan. Here he asks which of the monastics are servers and which are meditators. Guishan can see that the real question is still hidden and tries to bring it out, saying that there are no servers or meditators. The real question appears, “Then what are they doing here?”

Haven't you heard the saying: “If you want to attain intimacy, don't approach it with questions?” Guishan says, “You will have to find that out for yourself.” How touching. In a single phrase the old master opens up a path for him to follow. From ancient times to the present, buddhas and ancestors have never spoken a word for the people. This practice of not helping people, should be investigated thoroughly. Even an answer that is sweet as honey, when clearly understood, turns out to be just another poison. You just have to find out for yourself.

CAPPING VERSE

Buddhas and ancestors have not appeared in the world,

nor is there any truth to be given to the people.

They are just able to observe the hearts of beings

and dispense medicine according to their ills.” (1)

This is a big koan, “You have to find out for yourself.”

It is a big koan because it is certainly a lifelong one that goes with us forever, that no matter where we go, and what we do, no matter how many times we call on God, and even feel the solace of that calling, we are thrown back unto ourselves. Even the teachings, in all the religions that have God, we are thrown back unto ourselves. That God throws us back onto ourselves to say, “Well, where are you? Show yourself!”

This is one of these things that makes our Buddhist practice so difficult, because when we truly want some solace, it is a difficult matter. Yet we think that there is no solace in calling, “Master” and answering, “What?” And yet if we really, really do that, when we really summon ourselves to respond, there is tremendous solace in that! Because we know that's the truth. We know the truth lies only there and not outside any place else. So there's tremendous solace in it, but it doesn't look like that until we do it. That, of course, is the action of finding out for yourself. An action of calling, “Master!” and answering “What?” Truly answering, “What?”

In our hearts that next question comes up. That next gut level, wrenching, suffering, miserable moment in ourselves comes forward, if we are really willing to do that. And it's only in passing through that, in pulling that up out of ourselves, and saying “What?” that we are able to bring it into that moment in which we can address it. And that is true solace.

So, who do you play the piano for, when there is nobody around?

Who do you cook for when you are alone ? You're cooking for the master.

You're playing the piano for the master. So it's all there! It's entirely all there!

So what can I rely on ? Can I rely enough on the true practice of Emptiness? The true practice of responding to the question of “Master” with a true “What?” when the chips are down and I'm miserable and I'm down and out, and that's it and I can't go on? I've been there, otherwise I would not talk this way.

So this incredible koan, “You have to find out for yourself” is so lifelong and spectacular and affirming, truly affirming in its potential to show us our Way. We know the Way is not found outside of ourselves. We will all come to this. We will all come to this spectacular moment in which we will find out for ourselves. It's just really nice to do it while we're still alive, before that moment of death. We will find out, but it would be so much greater to really live for the sake of living. It is so rare. It is so rare an opportunity to have this life. It won't happen again. This life will not happen again. How much more wonderful to really enter that koan, really look into it, and when you get up tomorrow, well everyday, you say “Master!” and you answer 'YES! What? What?”

The next question comes, but you have to drive to ask what is the next question. Not Guishan's question, not Lu's question, 'What are they doing here ?' that was his huge koan. What is your question? And how much better to do that while we’re alive, than to face “I have to find out for myself” at the moment of death when there’s no more time to enjoy yourself when you see through it! We are clearly going to find out at the moment of death. We'll find out what life is all about at the moment of death. I suspect that that spectacular moment of death, should we be so lucky as to be conscious. has that moment of finding out. Even if we're not conscious for that last breath, anybody I have ever been with who's dying, has a last moment of consciousness, and in that moment they see it. They see it, their whole life just goes whrrrrrrrrrrr, just like that, flashing before them. Their whole precious life spread out, and they just have it all right there. In a single moment, which is what happens when we awaken. Story after story after story, people will tell you about that moment of kensho, everybody they ever knew, everybody who had impact on their lives, just flashes before them in a moment, whrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! just like that. And they are reconciled with everyone.

We have to do that for ourselves. We have to find out for ourselves. Nobody can do it for us. Nobody can live your life for you. Nobody can ask you a deep question and have it penetrate unless you move the question into your being. Nobody can do it except you.

I remember that moment. I remember it very clearly, when I go back to it now and then, to remind myself, what am I doing here, and why should we have to sit? I remember that moment and I remember where I was. I was standing in the doorway, between the hallway and my bedroom. It was five- thirty in the morning and I’m thinking, “The bed or the car? The bed or the car? I can’t to go back to bed? No, I have to sit zazen, I want to go back to bed, I want to sit zazen!” Back and forth, back and forth. And I remember the resolve that washed over me in that very moment, that said, “If I do not go and sit, I will never know!”

So, I went, and that resolve stayed.

It’s that kind of care of our lives that we engender, that we nurture in zen practice, that we foster, that we cultivate. This is it, this is it! You have to find out for yourself.

One more little piece that I wrote down here, that came as a capping verse from another koan:

“If the student’s understanding equals the teacher’s

the teaching is diminished by half.

Only when the student has surpassed the teacher,

has the teaching been truly transmitted.” (2)

Thank you.

In Gassho

(1) Koan #275, page 374, in THE TRUE DHARMA EYE.

(2) Koan #273, page 372, in THE TRUE DHARMA EYE.

Systems of Privilege

There was an excellent and inspiring op-ed piece in the NY Times this morning by Nicholas Kristoff called "New Life for the Pariahs."

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/01/opinion/01kristof.html?_r=1&emc=eta1

The article describes the efforts of one Dr. Wall, a 59 year old doctor who rehabilitates women suffering from obstetric fistulas that turns them into pariahs in their own communities. Kristoff estimates there are 3 to 4 million women around the world with this situation. A half hour $300 operation will restore their ability to control their urine and feces, a condition that is created by obstructed childbirth with no opportunity for C-section, that injures her body such that she thereafter endures chronic incontinence. Kristoff calls the women the lepers of the 21st century because they are shunned and disowned by their husbands and family. Dr Wall has proposed a global plan now circulating in Congress, the White House and the State Department to build hospitals in the poorest countries where these millions of women can receive treatment and return to normal life. Yes, indeed, what an excellent use of foreign assistance!

So the article came a day after we'd been talking about gender privilege. We are reading PRIVILEGE, POWER AND DIFFERENCE by Allan G. Johnson and we are on the chapter in which Dr. Johnson explicates the nature of privilege systems that maintain privileged groups around the world regarding race, gender, age, disability, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Johnson says, "The trouble is produced by a world organized in ways that encourage people to use difference to include or exclude, reward or punish, credit or discredit, elevate or oppress, value or devalue, leave alone or harass."

We took the opportunity to discuss gender privilege since for the first time in the history of our Saturday study, we were only women. The system of privilege is such an important topic for our times as we see an upsurge in violence against women, racial and age discrimination, movements against the rights of lesbians and homosexuals. Our question of the day was not about how we are discriminated against, but in what ways we ourselves perpetuate the system. This is difficult to see because many of us are blind to our own privilege since being privileged means not having to look at or consider certain aspects of our society. For instance, being white in this society means not having to worry about what color you are and therefore whether you have to behave in certain ways to avoid conflict.

We asked the same question about our own practice together and resolved to open ourselves to the hidden ways in which we participate and fail to meet opportunities to address privilege when we see it. It is a topic that gets to the heart to equality and true practice in Dharma. Simply because the word "Buddhism" doesn't come into Dr. Johnson's book doesn't mean he isn't "doing" Buddhism. He clearly is asking us to get to the matter of suffering at its deepest societal core and to take action in daily life to change our harmful patterns.

Watching Leaves Fall

Since I'm still home with the flu, I've watched the leaves sailing in the wind and rain which has come with a vigorous beginning to winter. The trees have dropped about half their foliage. Leaves fall by the billions, or at least that's what it feels like when it's time to rake. In places we are knee deep and leaves coat the bushes like snow in a blizzard. But, leaves don't melt as the days go by. They hang on and get dry and droopy. If we don't pull them out of the bushes, the temple grounds begin to look like a haunted, forgotten village.

Still, it's a beautiful autumn, deep in color and I don't mind that I've this time to take it all in. Unfortunately, it's the tenacious flu that brings out this respite. I've the regular type flu and not the H1N1 that children and young people are infected with. It's quite debilitating in that it throws a net over you when you think you've gathered some energy and start to go forward. The cough hangs on and makes for exhaustion. We haven't even had time to get people inoculated for this year's strain. Can't tell whether the strain that is going around now is this year's brand or whether, living in Olympia, we're still behind the times. The thing is, lots and lots of people are sick right now. Makes you want to just stay home and batten down the hatches. Not to mention keep you from getting hit by massive falling leaves.

Please take care of yourselves everyone. Let's do what we're told by washing our hands frequently. Another thing to do is to use a saline solution inhaler throughout the day. They are inexpensive, about .99 cents to $1.50, and are found in any drug store. If someone has a cold, stand back from one another, about 10 feet away. Give up hugging for the duration. Get a good night's sleep every night, eat well, drink plenty of fluids. If this is the regular regime, then the virus may latch on but will have less potency and will be less debilitating. If you do get it, cancel all social engagements for two weeks. If you have to go to work before you are truly healed, try to stay away from others, wear a mask when you are around others. The Japanese wear masks frequently and it really helps to prevent contamination in others.

Looking forward to being back at it very soon.

Visiting Deep Spring Temple in Pennsylvania

Deep Spring Temple is 40 minutes north of Pittsburgh in the rolling country hills of Sewickley. (deepspringzen.org) At this time in October, the foliage is exquisite in colors of burnt umber, tangerine, dark orange, burnt yellow. It cannot be captured by camera except in small frames that cut off the brilliance and spaciousness of the landscape. Yet, we try to capture a taste of it.

Rev. Kyoki Roberts is Abbess of this Zen center which has a comfortable, welcoming feel and at the same time has the order and forms of practice. The Zendo is on the garden level and the Buddha Hall is on the second floor where all ceremonies take place. A social room with a small office area, a dining area, kitchen, and utility room are also on the ground floor. On

the second floor, along with the Buddha Hall is the Abbess' quarters, residents' rooms and a guest room.

The Sangha are all plain, wonderfully ordinary people in the Pennsylvania spirit who are made special in their reverence for practice. They do not try to stand out, do not puff themselves up, nor are they over-anxious. How can I describe the quietude of Pennsylvania people? The ease, depth, and beauty of the landscape must have some immediate effect upon the demeanor. I think that too about Olympia that the nature and bounty of the trees makes people somewhat quiet.

The photograph shows from the right: The Dog Maya, Rev. Kyoki, Jisen, Jisen's husband Kevin, and me.

Rev. Kyoki has an assistant abbess, Jisen, who lives with her husband nearby and comes in daily to help with the various tasks that are needed to keep the temple running in good order. Rev. Kyoki also has a dog named Maya who was rescued from the streets and has come to have this blessed life at Deep Spring. Maya is one of the truly well-trained practitioners who sits Zazen along with the rest of the community and barks the food blessing. She greets each visitor, and acts as general guardian of the grounds. As I am not a dog person necessarily, I was completely disarmed by the sweetness and caring response of this dog, not to mention her uncanny understanding of the ways of practice. The minute the food chant begins, she barks, although she does not bark at any other time except for a single bark at the arrival of a visitor. She lies down when the Zazen bells rings and gets up when it rings to finish. She lies down perfectly still in the Buddha Hall for ceremony and sometimes Rev. Kyoki just steps over her when she's approaching the altar. Maya is completely accepted by the Sangha and other dogs are also welcome and come for Zazen where they learn to sit still. Rev. Kyoki's teacher Rev. Nonin, who also has a practicing dog, says that some people are better off for getting dog hairs on them.

The workshop I ran last weekend was on the teachings of Ryokan, but it included opening the heart of creativity and using creativity as a means of revealing and opening our interior stuck places. Rev. Kyoki and I also did some sightseeing before and after the workshop. First, we went to Pittsburgh and visited the Frick House where the Frick Family lived. Frick was a businessman/financier and art collector. The house is riddled with wonderful paintings and the family artifacts are intact. It looks as if the family has just gone out for awhile. The hair combs and brushes remain on the dressing table. Mr. Frick's slippers are tucked under the night stand.

We also went to the Carnegie Hall of Science to see the dinosaurs, one of my favorite places in Pittsburgh. I'd been before to visit my brother who lived there for several years. The massive T-rex and other saurus bones are breathtaking, but the fossils are far more beautiful, these stunning, complex species imprinted on stone like original artworks from prehistoric time.

The day after the workshop we went to Fort Necessity, in south central Pennsylvania driving along the National Road, the first highway in the U.S. Fort Necessity is where George Washington at age 23 led his first military engagement which essentially started the French and Indian War. Here and all along

the drive the landscape gave forth breathtaking vistas of autumn beauty as we drove over the Chestnut Ridge, to Ohiopyle where the river waters gushed happily over falls, and then through Andrew Mellon family owned lands where horses grazed in the greenest horse pastures I've ever seen.

My flights home were packed with people and I barely made it onto the one from Chicago since the flight from Pittsburgh was delayed. Nevertheless, I was last one on and had no choice of seats. I was smashed in between two large men, one of whom blew his nose for three and half hours till we reached Seattle. Needless to say, I was taken with a sudden onset of fluish cold yesterday morning and had to sit out our one-day sesshin. I remain quiet today but better after sleeping through a feverish night. The worst of it is over so I'll be back at it in a few days. My mind and heart remain filled with the beauty of the autumn landscape and the goodness and generosity of Rev. Kyoki and the Deep Spring Temple Sangha.

Roshi John Daido Loori dies on October 9

Daido Loori Roshi died this morning, October 9th, 2009, at 7:30 in the morning. We send our deepest sympathies to his family and students at Zen Mountain Monastery and around the world. Daido Roshi was a leading teacher of Zen practice in the United States. The Dharma resonance of his life has been extraordinary. We will remember him in our chanting with care and gratitude for 49 days.

You may read a eulogy by Bernie Glassman Roshi, his Dharma brother, at this website: http://www.zenpeacemakers.org/roshi_john_daido_loori.html

Offered for Victims of Recent Natural Disasters Around the World

The Lotus Sutra

Myoho Rengekyo Kanzeon Bosatsu Fumonbonge

World-Honored One, fully endowed with subtle signs!

Now again I ask about that

Son of the Buddha for what reason

He is named the One Who Observes the Sounds of the World.

The Buddhia replied:

Listen you to the conduct of the Sound-Observer,

The one who responds well to all places in all directions!

His broad vows as deep as the ocean,

Throughout kalpas beyond reckoning or discussion

He has served many thousands of millions of Buddhas,

• Uttering great and pure vows.

I will tell it to you in brief.

The hearing of his name, the sight of his body,

The recollection of him in thought do no pass away in vain,

For he can extinguish the woes of existence.

Even if someone whose thoughts are malicious

Should push one into a great pit of fire,

By virtue of constant mindfulness of Sound-Observer

The pit of fire would turn into a pool.

Or, one might be afloat in a great sea,

In which are dragons, fish, and sundry ghosts.

By virtue of constant mindfulness of Sound-Observer

The waves could not drown one.

Or, being on the peak of Sumeru,

One might by another be pushed off.

By virtue of constant mindfulness of Sound-Observer,

Like the sun itself one would dwell in space.

Or, one might by an evil man be chased

Down from a diamond mountain.

By virtue of constant mindfulness of Sound-Observer

He could not harm a single hair on one-s head.

Or, one might be surrounded by enemies,

Each carrying a knife and intending to inflict harm.

By virtue of one’s constant mindfulness of Sound-Observer

All would straightaway produce thoughts of good will.

Or, one might encounter royally ordained woes,

Facing execution and the imminent end of one’s life.

By virtue of one’s constant mindfulness of Sound-Observer

The knives would thereupon break in pieces.

Or, one might be confined in a pillory,

One’s hands and one’s feet in stocks.

By virtue of constant mindfulness of Sound-Observer

One would freely gain release.

When either by spells, or by curses, or by poisonous herbs,

Someone wishes to harm his body, the victim,

By virtue of his constant mindfulness of Sound-Observer,

Shall send them all back to plague their authors.

Or one might encounter evil raksasas,

Poisonous dragons, ghosts, and the like.

By virtue of one constant mindfulness of Sound-Observer,

They would no dare to do one harm.

Or, one may be surrounded by malicious beasts,

Sharp of tooth and with claws to be dreaded.

By virtue of one’s constant mindfulness of Sound-Observer,

They shall quickly run off to immeasurable distance

There may be poisonous snakes and noxious insects,

Their breath deadly, smoking and flaming with fire.

By virtue of one’s constant mindfulness of Sound-Observer,

At the sound of one’s voice they will go away of themselves.

The clouds, rolling the thunder drums and

dispatching the lightning.

Send down the hail and pour forth the great rains.

By virtue of one’s constant mindfulness of Sound-Observer,

At that very moment one can dry up and dissipate them.

The beings suffer embarrassment and discomfort;

Incalculable woes press in upon them.

The Sound-Observer, by his unblemished knowledge

Can rescue the world from its woes.

He is fully endowed with supernatural penetration

And broadly cultivates wisdom and expedient devices;

In the lands of all ten quarters

There is no ksetra where he does not display his body.

The various evil destinies,

Those of hell, ghosts, and beasts,

As well as the pains of birth, old age, sickness, and death,

All little by little are extinguished.

O you of the true gaze, of the pure gaze,

Of the gaze of broad and great wisdom,

Of the compassionate gaze and the gaze of good will!

We constantly desire, constantly look up to,

The spotlessly pure ray of light,

The sun of wisdom that banishes all darkness,

That can subdue the winds and flames of misfortune

And everywhere give bright light to the world.

The thunder of the monastic prohibitions, whose

essence is good will,

And the great and subtle cloud, which is the sense of

compassion,

Pour forth the Dharma-rain of sweet dew,

Extinguishing and removing the flames of agony.

When disputes go through civil offices,

When they terrify military campus,

By virtue of constant mindfulness of Sound-Observer

• The multitude of enemies shall all withdraw and scatter.

The delicate-voiced one who observes

the sounds of the world

And the Brahma-voiced sound of the tide

Are superior to the sounds of the world.

Therefore one must ever be mindful of them.

From moment to moment conceive no doubts,

For the pure saint who observes the sounds of the world

In the discomforts of pain, agony, and death

Can be a point of reliance.

Fully endowed with all the merits,

His benevolent eye beholding the beings.

He is happiness accumulated, a sea-incalculable.

For this reason one must bow one’s head to him.

• At that time the bodhisattva Earth-Holder

(Dharanimdhara) straightaway rose from his seat

and, coming forward, addressed the Buddha, saying,

“O World-Honored One! If there is a living being

who shall hear this Chapter of the Bodhisattva He

Who Observes the Sounds of the World, the deeds

of self-mastery, the manifestation of the gateway

to everywhere, the powers of supernatural penetration,

be it known that that person’s merit shall not be slight.”

When the Buddha preached this Chapter of the

Gateway to Everywhere • within the multitude were

eighty-four thousand living beings all of whom

opened up their thoughts to unequaled

AnnutaraSammakuSambodhi!

October 1st - For the Time Being

Almost everyone I know is in a time of transition. A seeming midway point between one thing and another. Or so it seems. Actually, we've been in transition from the moment we entered being-life, since nothing remains the same from one moment to the next. We've all had some plateaus when we thought things were settled and we didn't have to worry about anything. We know however, if we look around, that this is an illusion. Anything can happen at any moment and nothing is actually fixed. We just have the feeling that things are settled. It's a mercy that we get such moments so that we are not challenged by the idea of turmoil all the time. While I was speaking of this in the Zendo last night, we experienced a non-damaging earthquake.

Transitions require particular maturity on our part to remain equanimous while things appear topsy turvy, when there is the pressure to pick, to choose, to decide something that will have enormous effect on our future and those we love. Katagiri Roshi recommends to us that we "root ourselves firmly in Emptiness." If we do this we can go about our lives with confidence in our being, with confidence that the steps we take will rise out of the clearest point of wisdom. When we say that we can't rely on anything, that everything is continuously changing, we don't mean that we are abandoned to the wind and rain and that we are helpless. We mean that in each moment all potential is there for us and when we don't panic, when we don't try to grip our lives with fear and anxiety, we allow for wisdom and understanding to be manifested in our activities and our choices. In this, our lives are large, there is room to breathe well, we can manifest the aspects of ourselves that most long to be expressed.

Being is time and time is being. Everything is for the time being, for awhile, as Dogen Zenji says in "Uji" SHOBOGENZO. What moves through time resides in all of existence yet is for the time being. We cannot avoid time. The challenge is to fully enter time as an embracement of being. When we collapse into circumstance we begin to lose being and we set up obstructions for ourselves that reduce our possibilities. Obstructions are things or thoughts or patterns that cause us to be blind to potential.

In times when transitions are strong we can be tempted to be thrown into turmoil and to allow obstructions to cloud the way. So, we must dig deeply into spiritual maturity to be wise caretakers of our lives. This is not because of fear of making a mistake, but because caring well for life is itself being-time, is itself the manifestation of Buddha Nature. Living in this way we can live with confidence in the most difficult storms of change and transition which even the Buddha, Dogen Zenji, Ryokan san, all people meet along the Way.