Slowly the light...

All through the dark winter in the Pacific Northwest, we just keep making effort.  We begin to notice this when the days, slowly, get longer and longer.  We notice that we kept our practice going forward even when there was darkness driving up to Olympia Zen Center for evening or morning Zazen.  We especially notice the light in morning Zazen when, for many months, we begin in darkness and end in darkness.  Then one morning, as if by some stroke of magic, the day creeps forward through the fog before the finish of Zazen.  The heart sings.

The important point is to just continue to make effort no matter the condition of light or dark, no matter the temperature, or whether it rains or shines.  Inoue Kando Roshi spoke at Entsuji about how we disappoint ourselves.  He said we should notice if we disappoint ourselves and we should practice in a way such that we don't.  If we mean to sit Zazen and don't respond to the intuitive urge, disappointment with ourselves sets up a condition that can keep us from truly actualizing our lives in practice.  How do we know if Zen practice is the best Way for our lives if we don't actually do it?

Very small steps, a little at a time, much like the arrival of morning light, that moves us out of self disappointment and into lighthearted effort can mean enormous change in our lives.  It's the difference between thinking about doing something and actually doing it.  They are worlds apart.  It does take effort to let go of resistance, but then when we shake ourselves loose it  becomes natural like the progress of sunrise.  We discover ourselves moving forward and that very activity brings about change.  Slowly the light...